miwahni (miwahni) wrote,

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Drabble-Matic - The Miracle of the Elephant

Found here - Halrloprillalar's Fan Fiction Drabble-Matic. Make your own! Gakked from the_safehouse

The Miracle Of The Elephant

Bodie hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a blushing virgin bride. He loathed it.

Every December, Bodie would feel himself getting all oily inside. He refused to put up a Christmas book, he snapped at anyone omnipotent enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Bodie had to go to the mall to buy a virile sub-machine gun. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing sternly around and so much Christmas music blaring boldly, he thought his epididymis would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a treacherous man collecting for charity. Bodie never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the treacherous man dropped his bells and ran in the back seat of a Capri. There was a verdant elephant right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the treacherous man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Bodie rushed out and cheekily pushed them both out of the way. There was a crepuscular bang and then everything went dark.

When Bodie woke up, he was in a humungous room. There was a Christmas book in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Bodie's appendix hurt. A lot.

The treacherous man came into the room. "I'm so sturdy!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Ray. You saved me from the truck. But your appendix is broken."

Bodie hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas book up and his appendix was broken, he felt quite putrescent, especially when he looked at Ray.

"Your appendix must hurt merrily," Ray said. "I think this will help." And he bit Bodie several times.

Now Bodie felt very putrescent indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Ray. "I love you," he said, and kissed Ray gaily.

"I love you too," said Ray. Just then, the elephant ran into the room and nuzzled Bodie's thorax. "I brought him home with us," Ray said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Bodie said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

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