January 8th, 2007

Random Violin

Hey, I'm a Mouse Potato!


Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!!!

1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard

4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. KANGAROOING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Often feel like doing this to my computer......

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the Australian landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks. (I am a wanna be)

19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

- Author Unknown
  • Current Music
    now that I've found where you're at it's goodbye,well howzat
Random Violin


Well I managed to slip back into the work routine without too much difficulty today, after having the last fortnight off. And what did I discover in my in-box? An email from my area manager, advising me that I have too many holidays accrued still, and need to look at taking more. I'm not game to tell her about the 8 weeks long service leave I still have up my sleeve, and the further entitlement I'll get at the end of this year.
Meanwhile, sitting in my office chair all day left me stiff and sore, so after work I actually Went For A Walk. There's a perfectly good park behind my house, and for the last two and a half years I've been saying that one day - one day - I'll get out into it. Tonight I did. Two laps, in fact!
  • Current Music
    say goodbye my one true lover,and we'll steal a lover's song