miwahni (miwahni) wrote,

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Have a Shitty Day

What follows is a genuine email from one of my collegues. And you think YOU had a bad day!

I thought I might regale you with this tale, may give you a chuckle.

My loan interview this week saw a child vomit Weetbix all over my desk 3 minutes into the interview...... NICE!.... Like a lava flow it poured from his mouth...as I rushed around getting tissues and wet chux wipes......the parents didn't skip a beat........the child then proceeded to climb everywhere while yelling and slapping his overly tolerant parents........the surprisingly undisturbed parents still did not miss a beat........

To my ongoing dismay, just as I was getting to my "Protected Loan" bit, I deciphered that the child was now actually saying "poo!, poo!, poo!, poo!" I interrupted the parents to helpfully point out that there is a toilet across the road......they press on with steely determination despite the strong odour of vomit.... "Oh no he will be OK" they say cheerily ......Yes, I think to myself but will I?

I continue with my presentation making it as brief as possible, taking shallow breaths wishing for Glen 20,...... when the father rises from his chair and proceeds to do something I have never seen done in a loan interview............and they say that necessity is the mother of all invention, this man is very inventive.

Dad opens the child's backpack and takes out a plastic shopping bag and proceeds to line the bag then before I realise what he is about to do he pulls the child's pants down and squats the child over the superdooper multipurpose makeshift backpack/toilet....the child takes aim.....successfully completes the task, father wipes the child's bottom while proudly exclaiming "See Daddy knows how to fix things"........he deftly wipes the child's bottom with my tissues then wraps the offending object and pops it into the bag ("for later")....by now I was wondering if I should "surprise and delight" my customer and offer to "Flush it later" and that might get me on a St George TV commercial providing a very human banking experience, obviously that would have to top the guy with the dummy Ad.

We continued on with the interview ............I got the loan.

I think I deserve a Star Award

Have a great weekend

I really can't think of anything to say about this. Words just escape me.
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