November 13th, 2016

Pros B & D about to kiss

Some mothers do 'ave 'em. Fortunately not I.

Last night was my oldest nephew's wedding. It was a really contemporary service and reception; held in a former industrial building that had been converted to a venue, located in the notorious Fortitude Valley. The building retained elements of its original purpose with polished concrete floors, exposed plumbing and air conditioning, even a graffiti-riddled roller door at one end. The ceremony was trying for "quirky" and "fun" - at one point we all had to stand up and pledge to have a "fully sick" "rad" time at this "awesome" event - but as a result it lacked the emotional impact that most weddings have. Even my sister, whose eldest child it was, was dry-eyed and confessed afterwards that she remained unmoved by events.

It wasn't helped when her youngest, who was the best man, rose to give his speech. He started by saying that he had known his brother forever and that they had a lot in common, starting with the fact that they had both popped out of the same mother's vagina. At that point Dee was hiding her face. He finished by thanking us for allowing him to fuck our earholes with his speech. Nice - not! There was a collective gasp around the room at that point. I'm no prude but I didn't consider that appropriate at all.

I think the groom was a bit dismayed by his brother's speech, as he got up to apologise for it, and mentioned that his brother is still young (he's 23) and has a lot of maturing to do.

The wedding dinner was wood-fired pizza, accompanied by expresso martinis. I'm not sure what alcohol was in the martini; all you could taste was the coffee. Not bad, but not something I'd search out again.

Still, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, the bride and bridesmaids all looked lovely, the men behaved, there was a live band and dancing - the bride even got up and sang with the band for a little while, I had no idea she was that talented! - and it was a reasonably early finish too.