miwahni (miwahni) wrote,

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Yes Virginia, there IS a lunatic fringe...

This is a real-life interview, conducted by our Armidale lending manager. Just goes to show the kind of fruitcakes we deal with on a daily basis. Lender's comments in brackets.

I've put an offer for a house in Armidale, I'm going to put it in my grand kids names, they're 7 and 8 (you can't do that) okay, I'm doing a brick laying course at the moment (that's nice) so this house in Uralla (What house in Uralla?) I don't know, there's this nice rural property outside Armidale worth $500,000 but they're selling it for $200,000 (so is this the house you want to buy?), I'm starting my paving course this weekend (that's nice) so this house up in Guyra on the main road is an old blue brick home worth $300,000 but selling for $160,000 (so exactly which house do you want to buy?). I'm not sure, I'll probably be going to England, I've always liked England (that's nice, so what can I actually do for you?). I'm just keeping you informed, I'm actually going for another dentist's job (that's good), I'll probably discuss this with my son, he's brilliant, his wife's an idiot, we always win trivia nights, (that's nice), his wife always brings too much cake to these things (oh well!). My father used to be a builder, self taught of course, so that's why I like paving (that's nice). When I was born, my father said I looked like a builder, but I became a dentist instead, but I actually found out I was kidnapped off Tasmania, in the 50s, because I have O blood type. And the photos of my mother just don't look right, I said to Bill (who's Bill?), be's my brother who stole all my photos. It's a funny thing, you know my father's mother had golden staph, probably in the ambulance (what ambulance) the one taking her to her operation, she died. (I'm sorry to hear that. Anyway I certainly appreciate you keeping me informed). That's okay, my father actually got caught behind a plough, and hurt his arm (I'm sorry to hear that) it was 40 years ago, so he's not bad now, although it's paralysed (sorry. Anyway, I won't keep you, and thaks for keeping me informed). My wife's coming up in 2 weeks, we'll probably sleep in the surgery, so I'll talk to you later, thanks, goodbye!

Well, if I wasn't pathologically afraid of dentists before, now I'm afraid of pathological dentists....

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