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17 May 2014 @ 10:37 am
This is what has made me happy  
It's been five months now since I started my current job, and my probation is due to end at the beginning of June. Thing is, I was convinced that I wasn't going to make it off probation, as I've made some mistakes that have had ramifications. And it was hard, learning that I'm not the hot stuff I thought I was - a bit of a reality check, really. So, for the last few months, I've been just waiting for the hammer to fall.

So yesterday, when the head of credit came over to my desk and pulled up a chair, saying he wanted to have a chat, I was mentally preparing myself to pack up my desk and walk out the door (I've already been taking personal items home, to make the last day that little bit easier). No-one was more surprised than me when he said that he had been assessing the work I've been doing, and is going to give me my DLA - that is, the discretion to approve loans without them having to be checked by anyone else. Seriously I had been expecting the worst so this just knocked me off my feet. He still wants me to run more complex deals past him first, and I'm okay with that.

Came home last night and drew a card from my Wildwood deck. I drew the six of arrows, which talks about abundance, about reaping the rewards of my hard work over summer. As I started this job right at the beginning of summer I thought the card rather appropriate.
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Current Mood: relievedrelieved
 
 
moonlightmead on May 19th, 2014 10:28 am (UTC)
Oh, well done and - as your card suggests - I am sure it is no more than you deserve and the result of work rather than luck. I have noticed that people who are very good at what they do are often also very self-critical (particularly the women), so I can understand that you might have been counting your faults while everyone else was measuring your successes.

But I am delighted for you - yay!
miwahni: Pros BD tablemiwahni on May 20th, 2014 10:35 am (UTC)
Thank you - it was a huge relief, I have to admit. I'm just so well aware of the mistakes I'm making, and for a long while I was convinced that my boss thinks I'm an idiot... every time he spoke to me, my brain flew out the window! Not feeling quite so out-of-sorts at work now though.