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20 March 2016 @ 08:38 pm
Over and done.  
After ten years I'm no longer on the committee for Qld Independent Cat Council. I stood down from the secretary position at yesterday's AGM, and declined nomination for any other position. It feels strange.

I've thrown myself wholeheartedly into my membership of QICC, holding at various times the presidency, the treasurer role and for the last two years being secretary. But then something happened, which made me feel sick at heart and I felt I had no alternative but to stand down, and am seriously considering leaving the council altogether. You see, QICC has long had a reputation for being dodgy. I always though it was unfounded and I've defended the organisation for as long as I've been a member, saying that we're NOT dodgy; might be a bit slack in some departments but we don't do anything underhand.

And then I found out that we did. Only a little thing, maybe, but I felt devastated to learn that I was wrong. And if this one thing was dodgy, how many other dodgy things was I simply not aware of? I couldn't sleep for a couple of nights, thinking about this. At the meeting yesterday two other examples of underhanded dealing were discussed, and everyone was laughing about them, while I'm sat there feeling like a lone wolf howling at the moon, and all I'm getting is bottles thrown at me. In a manner of speaking.

So that's it, I'm out. I can't condone their actions, I don't agree with the prevalent mindset, and I can't stomach their ethics. And it hurts, dammit. It's not supposed to hurt like this when it was my decision to go.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
byslantedlight: Doyle Lean (snarkyllama)byslantedlight on March 20th, 2016 10:59 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm so sorry, that's horrible... And I imagine it will hurt, and perhaps worse than if you'd resigned for other reasons. I think it hurts most when our belief in things is shattered, because not only do we worry about what we believed in, but about how we could believe them, why we didn't see what was wrong. Being let down makes us doubt ourselves as well as those who let us down. I think that's why it takes such strength to stand up for what we believe in, because we have to stand up not just to others but to ourselves as well. Just believing in something is simple - questioning it is the hard thing. And for me - a thousandfold respect for you, for doing what you feel is right rather than dismissing things and going along with them. Oh, but I know it hurts...
miwahni: Cats Showing offmiwahni on March 20th, 2016 11:24 am (UTC)
...but about how we could believe them...
That's it, you've hit the nail on the head there. I keep thinking of Callie's line in Blake's 7 where she says that people who trust cannot be betrayed, only mistaken.... I was very, very mistaken it seems.
Trepkos: Faggottrepkos on March 20th, 2016 12:40 pm (UTC)
How sad. Was it a cat welfare issue, or just interpersonal politics?
miwahni: Cats Showing offmiwahni on March 21st, 2016 12:09 pm (UTC)
Not cat welfare, just accepting ineligible entries into our show. Which sounds like such a minor thing but the repercussions are huge - what if the ineligible kittens had won Cat of the Year points? As it was, I had a friend from another council ring me to ask why we accepted the entries, and what could I say? Wasn't going to lie and say I didn't know about them, when I'd had strong words to the president about accepting them AT THE TIME THAT THE ENTRY WAS SUBMITTED. Long before the show date. And then you wonder how many others have been accepted with bodgied-up birthdates, or pedigrees, or whatever, just for the sake of a few more entries. Nup, I'm done.
entropy_houseentropy_house on March 20th, 2016 04:48 pm (UTC)
*hugs* It hurts because it really wasn't your decision to go, I think. You wanted to stay, but you couldn't stay, once you knew unethical behavior was not only happening, but it was so far accepted as to be a joke.

If you left because you hadn't the time to spare, or because your interests had changed, then you'd only have mild regrets, and could look upon the past interactions with pleasure, instead of wondering what unethical things had occurred while you were associated with the group. That taints your memories, no matter that you know you were completely innocent.

*more hugs*
miwahni: Cats Showing offmiwahni on March 21st, 2016 12:11 pm (UTC)
I feel very sad about leaving, as I've enjoyed my time with the council and made some good friends (who fortunately weren't caught up in this) but can't possibly stay on.
And then at the meeting to learn about more bodgied-up paperwork, to do with a prefix ownership - and everyone laughing and saying to our registrar "well done slipping that through!". I just felt sick.
entropy_houseentropy_house on March 21st, 2016 12:54 pm (UTC)
*nods* Yeah, when the majority approves breaking the rules to take advantage of people, you're not going to be able to stop it, so all you can do is walk away.
Strike while the irony is hot: [EMATE] HUGS C'MEREdraycevixen on March 20th, 2016 10:24 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, petal. ♥

I know it hurts but do try to remember all the good you did actually do for this organization no matter what they may have been up to.
miwahni: Cats Showing offmiwahni on March 21st, 2016 12:12 pm (UTC)
All a bit of a waste, really, when I hear back from members of other councils. My friends my breed club couldn't understand why I joined QICC in the first place, but it did seem like a good fit. And I did have some good times, mostly, so I won't regret my time spent there.
topumtopum on March 20th, 2016 11:05 pm (UTC)
Why do you have to be out and not the people who do things underhand there?
miwahni: Cats Showing offmiwahni on March 21st, 2016 12:14 pm (UTC)
When you have twelve people sitting around a table, and I'm the only one not seeing the funny side of it... much easier for me to just go, tbh.

And *waves hello* have we met? Welcome.
mrua7: blinky black catmrua7 on March 21st, 2016 12:50 am (UTC)
Oh course you feel hurt! You devoted a lot of time and energy to that organization and then to have them make a liar out of you. It's always devastating when something important to you disappoints you. No fun being let down. You wrestled with a hard decision to resign and I completely understand your dilemma. Following your conscience and ethics isn't always easy. So brava lady, you deserve a pat on the back for having and keeping to a higher standard.

I recently came to a crossroad with performing with certain musicians, and the fact that our monthly session is probably going to be cancelled by a jerk who manages the pub where we play was a low blow. Especially when we thought he was a friend to the musicians. Playing in sessions is pretty much all I have.

I was this close to quitting when one of my fellow musicians told me not to throw in the towel as she understands the difficult time I have dealing with prima donna musicians, none of whom are ever on the same page. She commended my patience for dealing with them...including herself.

Edited at 2016-03-21 12:52 am (UTC)
miwahni: Cats Showing offmiwahni on March 21st, 2016 12:15 pm (UTC)
It sounds as though you've needed a lot of patience, but well done you for seeing it through. It's NOT easy! I hope it gets better for you, and I'm sorry your jerk not-friend has disappointed you so badly.
mrua7: blinky black catmrua7 on March 21st, 2016 01:37 pm (UTC)
Be proud of yourself; you made the right decision! We're in a world that's in short supply of people who have the courage to follow their conscience and do the right thing.
Hugs to you and a pat on the back!

Edited at 2016-03-21 01:39 pm (UTC)
P.R. Zed: doyle pensiveprzed on March 21st, 2016 01:57 am (UTC)
I'm very sorry to hear about this, but you can at least take comfort that you've stood firm on your principles. ::hugs::
miwahni: Cats Showing offmiwahni on March 21st, 2016 12:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the hugs! Much appreciated. I always wondered why QICC had a tainted reputation, and now I wonder if the things I saw recently were just the tip of a giant dodgy iceberg.