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20 March 2016 @ 08:38 pm
Over and done.  
After ten years I'm no longer on the committee for Qld Independent Cat Council. I stood down from the secretary position at yesterday's AGM, and declined nomination for any other position. It feels strange.

I've thrown myself wholeheartedly into my membership of QICC, holding at various times the presidency, the treasurer role and for the last two years being secretary. But then something happened, which made me feel sick at heart and I felt I had no alternative but to stand down, and am seriously considering leaving the council altogether. You see, QICC has long had a reputation for being dodgy. I always though it was unfounded and I've defended the organisation for as long as I've been a member, saying that we're NOT dodgy; might be a bit slack in some departments but we don't do anything underhand.

And then I found out that we did. Only a little thing, maybe, but I felt devastated to learn that I was wrong. And if this one thing was dodgy, how many other dodgy things was I simply not aware of? I couldn't sleep for a couple of nights, thinking about this. At the meeting yesterday two other examples of underhanded dealing were discussed, and everyone was laughing about them, while I'm sat there feeling like a lone wolf howling at the moon, and all I'm getting is bottles thrown at me. In a manner of speaking.

So that's it, I'm out. I can't condone their actions, I don't agree with the prevalent mindset, and I can't stomach their ethics. And it hurts, dammit. It's not supposed to hurt like this when it was my decision to go.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
byslantedlight: Doyle Lean (snarkyllama)byslantedlight on March 20th, 2016 10:59 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm so sorry, that's horrible... And I imagine it will hurt, and perhaps worse than if you'd resigned for other reasons. I think it hurts most when our belief in things is shattered, because not only do we worry about what we believed in, but about how we could believe them, why we didn't see what was wrong. Being let down makes us doubt ourselves as well as those who let us down. I think that's why it takes such strength to stand up for what we believe in, because we have to stand up not just to others but to ourselves as well. Just believing in something is simple - questioning it is the hard thing. And for me - a thousandfold respect for you, for doing what you feel is right rather than dismissing things and going along with them. Oh, but I know it hurts...
miwahni: Cats Showing offmiwahni on March 20th, 2016 11:24 am (UTC)
...but about how we could believe them...
That's it, you've hit the nail on the head there. I keep thinking of Callie's line in Blake's 7 where she says that people who trust cannot be betrayed, only mistaken.... I was very, very mistaken it seems.